Its like having a deep cut and just when it starts to heal, the scab breaks open again. Imagine this month after month, year after year. Oh and then add a depleting bank account along with that.
My IEP…what is going on? December 18, 2009
So on monday Dec. the 7th Mike and I went to our IEP. I was looking forward to this meeting for a while. We just wanted answers..what’s going on? Is it me..is it Mike?
Our dr. always starts with how baby are made..how reproduction happens. And I know that! I always just want to say..”Ok get on with it! Get to ME, whats happening with ME? I don’t need the birds and the bees lecture”
Sadly, before we even had this meeting, actually, way back at embryo retrieval when I”m laying on the recovery bed waking up from anesthesia with one eye open, the dr. tells me that he retreaved 7 eggs. Nice little dr. He seemed excited about it. But I knew that all of those eggs were NOT mature. So I went into a depression right there during recovery. We were all trying for a lot more eggs at that time so we could do a 5 day transfer vs. a 3 day. With only 7 eggs recovered, and not all of them mature, there would be no way they would make it to a 5 day. PLUS, why can’t I just respond to the meds like every other girl in her early 30′s should!!! Well…I really had a feeling I knew.
So with my one eye open I told the dr. “Cool”. Then I closed my one eye, went into a slight depression, and already started planning, “Plan B” or actually..Plan C or D.
During the IEP (iep is a phrase I use to describe out meeting with the dr. I do iep’s at work with my special needs students), while I was waiting for the dr to get to the juice, I already knew!! I was just waiting for him to confirm my thoughts. Well, he did. Its me.
3 months and 13 days November 17, 2009
It has been 3 months and 13 days since I have written last. This is definitely not what successful bloggers do. but I am not a successful blogger. I”m just a crazy animal lady who has taken on the new hobby of IVF treatments. My husband thinks this new hobby is quite expensive..but he supports me 
In a nutshell:
4 IUI’s - BFN
4/09 – IVF#1,3 transferred, BFN
8/09 – FET (frozen embryo transfer), BFP with one!!!
8/09 – D&C of blighted ovum
11/09 - fresh IVF #2, only two survived, ET(embryo transfer) of only 2 embies.
Fingers crossed!! XXX
The Ultimate Fanny Pack! August 4, 2009
Here is the ultimate fanny pack! Fanny pack today..d&c tomorrow! I actually really just want to get this whole thing over with so I can somewhat enjoy my August vacation. We celebrated our pregnancy for two weeks, but now its time to move on! I actually feel really good about everything. I think I would have felt worse if they told my my pregnancy test was negative. At least an embryo implanted and did what it was supposed to do.
I already have spotting. The miscariage is starting. I need to call my dr. to see if I still need to do the d&c tomorrow. I will keep you all updated on my procedure tomorrow.
Oh…do you notice little Chloe’s face in the bottom of the picture?? She’s a sweetie. Maybe she wanted to be with me while I was doing my little fanny pack photo shoot 
ipregnancy! July 17, 2009
For those of you who have iphones, I just downloaded “ipregnancy”. Its the coolest pregnancy app for iphone. I have already checked this app out a while ago, probably while I was in a depression. Now I’m so excited that I can actually install this and use this without it putting me into a depressive state!
5 weeks! July 17, 2009
Well I have made it to 5 weeks!!! No cramping, no bleeding, no nothing. I hope it stays like this for 34 more weeks. I still am cautious.
I took 5 week pictures at 5 in the morning when I was the thinnest.
The sad thing is that these pictures aren’t really “pregnancy” pictures. Seriously..at only 5 weeks along, these pictures are more just real pictures of me standing in the bathroom taking pictures of myself. And yes I was slightly sucking in. So lets see how long I can kindof suck in And my belly ring is still in. Did you know that a company sells pregnancy belly rings?? Hmmm. I might do that I have my ultrasound Thursday. They will see the sack (lets hope hope hope to God that they do) or sacks and for reals confirm the pregnancy!!! YAAAAAY
YES! I finally got my BFP!! July 15, 2009
I cant even believe I”m writing that in the subject line. I just thought I would never ever be saying anything like that..
- Nine months natural trying + Six nonsense months of Clomid + 4 cycles of IUI’s + One IUI cycle we screwed up + One fresh IVF + One frozen IVF cycle = Three weeks away from being 3 years. Our three year annerversery is in two weeks.
Last Thursday I got my BFP! I was shocked and stunned. I still cant believe it. At times I forget that I”m pregnant. I feel wonderful while I’m going about my day, then think to myself, “OMG, I”m pregnant!” My Beta number at 14dp3dt (14 days past 3 day transfer) was a 176. I was thrilled with that. When I asked what my number was I was just really hoping for a 50 or something. Five days later I went to go get another blood test. The Dr. wanted me to go a week later but I couldn’t wait that long. So I went 5 days later. My beta at that time (yesterday, Tuesday) was a 2066! I am stocked about that too! I don’t think its twins. I think just one good baby stuck in there really good. I hope it stays stuck!! I am so so excited about this!! Happy, relieved.. I still feel like I cant get to attached. I go in for the ultrasound (good ol’ vag cam again) and they should be able to see the baby sack. I just so hope its there!! I would hate for them to tell Michael and I that there is nothing there. I think we would be devastated.
Tomorrow I will be 5 weeks I want the weeks to go by fast so I can be out of that crazy 3 month stage. I will probably start taking the pictures tomorrow morning. I will post them In the morning is when I’m the thinnest, so I”ll take them then.
I really have great great friends and family who are so excited for Michael and I! You all keep you hopes up for us, pray, and send positive thoughts, and you’re all just wonderful people <3
Oh yeah… that’s the good news. Bad news is we are not moving into our little white house. Remember I wrote in that blog post that it was our house, but some strange crazy thing might happen and it wouldn’t be ours?? Well…the strange crazy thing did happen. So we are not moving into it. Oh well..it wasn’t meant to be. We will start looking again in a couple of weeks. :-/
One more thing July 7, 2009
Did I tell you guys that this FET is sooooo much different than my fresh cycle? No issues what so ever! It has been so nice to not have so many aliments. I think that’s why my bed rest this time around was so much more difficult. I couldn’t get myself to “rest” cause I felt so good.
Before, I had to recover from the retrieval and from the “costo” pain. So much better this time!
The day is coming..but do you know when??? July 7, 2009
I wasn’t even going to say when my pregnancy test day was. I just didnt’ want to be posting my negative result. I thought if nobody knew I could just take my time to announce the bad news, so I might just do that. Although I think some of you will just probably do the math and figure it out. I really think I am not going to get my BFP this time around. I just don’t feel it. I”m practicing…telling myself I’m not pregnant so when the dr. calls me (and I”ll probably be at work when she does) it wont be so devastating for me. Just going to work and working with my new students is enough for me to deal with.
We are going to be moving in a couple of weeks. If I”m not pregnant I could help move, lift heavy things and drink beer while arranging the furniture If I am pregnant then I would feel like I would have to be extra careful, not lift, move quickly, and definitely no drinking.
I am already thinking about getting a second job…just a little mindless job during August and maybe even after. I”ll update you on that too. We are going to be on a tight budget so we can have enough money for a new fresh cycle in December. I already made 95 dollars from selling stuff on Ebay!! IVF fund!! I think I will start selling T-shirts and begin jog-a-thon to raise money for our fund. What should our name be? What should be written on our T-shirts??
I still would like everyone to think good thought and send them our way. I AM hoping for the best. But I’m preparing for the words, “It’s not good news” That’s what Nurse Joan told me in the beginning of May 
I am lucky to have such good friends and family!
Oh…Beck, Ace gave me that shot. She actually did a really good job! It was kindof funny..she was so worried about feeling “resistance” as the needle would be going into the muscle.
Now I wait… June 26, 2009
Its sad that on the day of my transfer America loses two very important people,Farrah fawcettt and Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson’s death was kind of like Elvis’s. They were both such legends all over the world but died at a pretty young age. I mean seriously, who is bigger than either Elvis or Michael?? :( They were rushing Micheal Jackson to the hospital at the same time I was having my embryos transferred.
I transferred four thawed embryo’s!! All four of them survided the thaw. We (mike and I) really thought one of them wouldn’t make it. We were so surprised and anxious to put all four in!! Three were grade 2 and one was grade 3. A grade 1 is excellent.
Ya know..if I just added two more frozen ones you could call me Nadya! In some crazy way..Nadya’s situation gives me hope. Is that really crazy to say?? :-/ Well…she’s about my age and went through a FET, and obviously it worked for her! I highly doubt I will get pregnant with four babies. I even believe that this cycle might not even work. I just have to hope that my body accepts the embies.
Here we are. So excited that they all survived. Better odds for us I guess. “Lets have a photo shoot!!” This is me in my party dress and special hat, waiting to go in the OR.
Keep your fingers crossed for us please!! Pray and wish us luck!!
